It’s Thanksgiving eve, and
a grateful nation is preparing to give thanks to the Giver of All Things -- Donald
J. Trump. Besides the roller-coaster sensations of great stretches of queasiness
interspersed with moments of pure terror, our President has bestowed upon us in
bountiful measure one of life’s greatest blessings: something to laugh at.
Our Kidder-in-Chief kicked
off the show by declaring that his Inauguration crowd was the largest in
history, that his win was a “massive” landslide, and that he would have won the
popular vote if it hadn’t been for the 3 million immigrants who voted illegally.
People chuckled, and he was off and running.
After three months at the
helm, he said that no administration in history had ever accomplished more in
its first 90 days. That was a knee-slapper, something like Genghis Khan
declaring that no horde had ever slaughtered more people than his.
He told us that we’d put
up a wall and the Mexicans would pay for it. Har de har har. He said that the IRS was auditing his tax returns
and that he’d hand them over when they were done, and then he said that he wouldn’t
hand them over after all. Funny, because he’d hounded Barack Obama about
showing his birth certificate, in the interest of “transparency.”
He called the White House “a
dump.” He told a racy story at a Boy Scout convention. Pure slapstick.
He visited Corpus Christi,
site of a hurricane, and crowed “What a turnout!” to the crowd hoping to hear
him discuss helping them. He tossed paper towels to the crowd in Puerto Rico.
His comedy can be physical, too!
He visited the Holocaust
Museum in Israel, and signed the guest book, “It’s a great honor to be here with all my friends. So amazing + will Never
Forget!” What a guy!
He went to Africa and
referred to the non-existent country of Nambia. He said that he’d spoken to “the
President of the Virgin Islands,” which is he himself, Donald J. Trump. He
flirted with the French president’s wife: “You’re in good shape,” he told her. “Beautiful.”
Amusing to everyone, perhaps, except his own wife, who was standing right there?
He said that there were
good people on both sides in Charlottesville. He praised the president of the
Philippines, a self-confessed murderer. He said Roy Moore’s got a point.
He said he’d be dating his
daughter if she wasn’t his daughter. He praised Vladimir Putin, over and over,
but said that NFL players were disrespecting the flag.
He said that Frederick
Douglass was doing an amazing job. He hired Anthony Scaramucci!
For these and many other
comedic moments, we are thankful. President Trump is the gift that keeps on
giving.
