When The New York Times reported that Donald
Trump regularly watches as much as eight hours of television a day, the average
American was undoubtedly gratified by this evidence that our President is,
indeed, a populist at heart. “That’s almost as much as I watch,” Joe Q. Public must have thought.
The news
also explains why Trump is battier than a bed louse. If three or four straight
hours of soap operas daily can render the typical housewife certifiably insane,
think of what twice that amount of Fox News could do.
Other than
that, I consider it encouraging to know that our Chief Execrableness is parked
in front of the boob tube, like an intractable child, for the better part of
each day, instead of at his desk signing things or out making speeches.
Still,
wouldn’t it be nice if our number one TV addict occasionally gleaned something
useful from his habit?
Trump is
just four years older than me, so, assuming that he watched as much TV as a lad
as I did--what else was there to do back then?--I’m guessing that his and my
viewing histories are essentially the same. (Of course, there’s always the
possibility that Trump at age ten was already an entrepreneur, busy carving his
name on treehouses and cadging nickels from other kids and never paying them
back, and not holed up in his living room watching TV.) Most of the shows from our childhood can be
found in reruns on cable now; it might be salutary for Mr. Trump to take a jog
or two down memory lane and see what might rise, however fleetingly, to the
surface. Here are a few recommendations.
The Roy Rogers Show (1951-57). “The King of the Cowboys”
never bragged about that nickname, never treated anyone unfairly (he invariably
let the bad guys draw their guns first), never stopped smiling, and never had a
single hair get out of place, even during his frequent fistfights (which he
never initiated). He and his wife, Dale, who sang “Happy Trails” at the end of
each episode, were loving partners and collaborators in the fight to bring
justice to all.
The Adventures of Superman (1952-58). Superman’s alter-ego, Clark
Kent, was the most powerful man in the world but never let on. As Superman, he treated all women with the
utmost courtesy, and though he had many an opportunity to take advantage of
Lois Lane, he never even considered it, even though she threw herself at him
whenever they met. The show honored the power of the press--Clark was a reporter--and the value of that institution. The Daily Planet was the heartbeat of
Metropolis.
The Andy Griffith Show (1960-68). Andy was sheriff, but always let
everyone else have the credit. Barney was insecure and blustery, but had a
heart of pure gold. When Opie cheats another kid in a trade, Andy realizes he’s
about to do the same thing, and refuses to do it.
Dragnet
(the original, 1951-59). “Just the facts,” as Joe Friday would say.
